Ask Carl

Hi, friends!

It’s Oakville’s favorite duck, Carl. The 2022-2023 school year has been a busy one for me, so I’ve been slightly lacking in my ability to reply to your questions. But fear not! I have selected my favorite questions I have received this year in order to bring you the FINAL edition of Ask Carl. 


What is your opinion on the socioeconomic state of the world? In other words, what’s your favorite milk flavor?

This is an important question, and I am so glad that someone asked this. I am a big fan of blueberry milk. It’s a highly underrated milk flavor and it deserves mass amounts of recognition. How do they milk a blueberry? I have no idea. All I know is that it’s delish. 

What is your favorite memory of high school?

It’s hard to pick just one memory. I have so many positive (and negative) things that I can look back on, but just picking one is almost impossible. This might be cheating, but I can already tell prom is going to be my favorite memory. I’ve got a sick outfit planned.

Is toast burnt or just heated up?

I’ve never really thought about it. I don’t really eat toast because bread is “bad for a duck’s health” and it could “kill me.” Doctors, amirite? If I am going to eat bread, though, it should be burnt. The flavor is so much better that way.

What time is it?

Crisis time.

How did you do on your finals? Did you end up failing geometry?

All D’s! D is for duck! 

Just kidding. I failed geometry.


What is your favorite movie?

The 2005 film “Robots” is an absolutely iconic film, and I love it. The film is a larger social commentary on corporate greed, the struggles of the lower class and even themes of genocide. But hey, there’s a scene of a robot in drag dancing to Britney Spears. Many things to love about that movie.

Hello Carl, what is your opinion on American cheese?

Delicious and delectable. I love how artificial and orange it is. 

Carl, will you be my bf?

I already have one of those and he’s pretty alright to me. Better luck next time.